Helping Kids Feel Safe Before School Starts
As the school term approaches, many families notice a quiet shift.
Children may become more emotional.
Sleep can feel unsettled.
Small worries start to surface.
Big reactions appear over little things.
Even when children seem excited about returning to school, their nervous systems are often anxiously preparing for change long before their words catch up.
This is not resistance.
It is anticipation.
Why Safety Matters Before Learning
Before children can engage, concentrate or cope with expectations, their nervous system needs to feel safe.
Safety doesn’t mean comfort at all times.
It means predictability, connection and trust through a reliable adult..
When children sense that something is about to change, their body often responds first. This can look like increased clinginess, irritability, restlessness, withdrawal, or difficulty managing emotions.
These responses are not signs that a child isn’t ready for school.
They are signs that their nervous system is preparing.
What Children Need in the Lead-Up to School
In the days before school begins, children benefit most from:
familiar routines that create rhythm
age-appropriate bedtimes through the summer months
clear, calm explanations of what to expect
reassurance without overloading them with information
opportunities for movement, play and rest
emotionally available adults who remain steady
Trying to “toughen children up” for school often increases stress. Supporting their sense of safety allows confidence to grow naturally.
Safety Is Built in Small Moments
Helping children feel safe doesn’t require long conversations or perfect preparation.
It often happens through small, repeated experiences, such as:
doing daily routines in the same order
staying close during emotional moments
responding calmly to worries without dismissing them
allowing space for questions without pressure
maintaining predictable boundaries with warmth
These moments signal to a child’s nervous system:
“I am supported. I am not alone. I can cope with what’s coming.”
When Big Feelings Show Up
As school approaches, emotions may fluctuate.
Some children talk more.
Some children talk less.
Some show excitement one moment and distress the next.
This is normal.
Rather than correcting the emotion, it can help to acknowledge it, name it and stay present. Emotional safety is built when children feel seen, not rushed.
Regulation grows when support is consistent, not when independence is forced too early.
A Supportive Perspective
School readiness is not just about skills.
It’s about whether a child feels secure enough in their body and environment to use the skills they already have.
This way of thinking is central to The Regulation Hourglass framework, which views regulation as a developmental process that unfolds with the right support, timing and adult guidance.
When children feel safe first, learning follows more easily.
A Gentle Reminder for Parents and Carers
If your child seems unsettled before school starts, it does not mean something is wrong.
It means their nervous system is preparing for change.
Your calm presence, predictable routines and steady reassurance matter more than any checklist.
Safety is the foundation.
Everything else builds from there.