Do All Children Need to Be Social?

A Reflection on Social Skills, Introversion, and the OT Perspective

After living in Australia for nearly two decades, I’ve come to notice something quite distinctive: a strong emphasis on children developing social skills. Whether in early childhood centres, schools, or therapy settings, social interaction is often considered a key marker of healthy development.

As a paediatric OT, I often find myself asking:
Is this focus universal, or does it reflect something specific about Australian culture?
And more importantly, should we always be trying to make children more “social,” or is there a better way to support each child’s unique way of connecting with the world?

🇦🇺 Why the Focus on Social Skills in Australia?

Australia isn’t alone in promoting social competence; many Western countries value these skills. But in Australia, some cultural and systemic factors amplify this emphasis:

• Mateship culture: Our national identity places a high value on friendliness, team spirit, and egalitarianism.

• Play-based curriculum: The Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF) and NSW K-2 Syllabus encourage collaborative play, peer interaction, and communication.

• NDIS functional goals: Social participation is a common outcome under NDIS therapy plans, often linked to community access and school readiness.

In many ways, these are positive goals — we all want our children to feel connected and confident. But what if a child is naturally quiet, introverted, or prefers solo play? Should we intervene, or allow them to simply “be”?

🧠 Not All Quietness Is a Problem

Understanding the OT’s Role: Function and Participation

One of the greatest strengths of occupational therapy is its focus on function rather than just developmental norms. Examine how a child engages in their everyday life across various environments rather than just how they compare to peers on a checklist.

So, what do we mean by function and participation?

As defined by the World Health Organisation’s ICF framework (2001), which underpins modern OT practice, function is about a person’s ability to do, and participation is about their actual engagement in meaningful life situations.

For children, this may include:

• Joining in play, either parallel or interactive

• Participating in group activities at school

• Engaging in mealtimes with family

• Interacting in ways that support daily routines, for example, asking for help, responding to others

An introverted or quiet child might appear disengaged, but when we take a closer look, they may be:

• Deeply engaged in solitary play with rich imagination

• Participating nonverbally through gesture, drawing, or shared attention

• Selectively social in trusted relationships

🔍 Our role is not to increase sociability for its own sake, but to assess whether the child is:

• Able to access daily roles and routines

• Expressing agency and autonomy

• Coping emotionally and sensory-wise in social settings

• Participating in ways that are meaningful to them

This strength-based, occupation-focused lens helps us advocate with the child, not for conformity.

OT Tools to Assess Function and Participation

• The Canadian Occupational Performance Measure (COPM) helps identify what matters most to the child and their caregivers.

• The School Function Assessment (SFA) evaluates a child’s participation, not just their social ability..

• PEO Model (Person-Environment-Occupation) guides us in exploring how environmental expectations may need to be adjusted, rather than expecting the child to change.

As OTs, we honour a child’s right to participate in ways that are aligned with their temperament and neurotype, not just in ways that look "typical".

The Role of Temperament and Neurodiversity

We draw on frameworks such as:

• Dunn’s Sensory Processing Framework (Dunn, 1997)

• MOHO (Model of Human Occupation - Kielhofner, 2008)

• PEO Model (Person-Environment-Occupation - Law et al., 1996)

These remind us that:
✅ Each child’s behaviour is a product of their nervous system, environment, and task demands.
✅ Participation looks different for different children.
✅ Respecting neurodivergence means valuing difference, not "fixing" it.

The OT Board of Australia’s Code of Conduct (2022) calls us to deliver person-centred, culturally responsive, and strengths-based care, which includes recognising that introversion is not a problem to be solved.

⚖️ Should We Encourage Social Skills Anyway?

In short: yes, but carefully.

All children benefit from:

• Learning to express needs and emotions

• Understanding consent, boundaries, and empathy

• Building confidence in safe relationships

But for introverted or neurodivergent children, this must be:

• Low-pressure

• Individualised

• Trauma-informed and sensory-aware

• Focused on connection, not compliance

Think: parallel play, nature-based activities, dyadic co-regulation, creative expression — not just group games and circle time.

🌼 Final Thoughts

Children don’t all need to be “social” in the same way. Our role as OTs is not to make them fit in, but to help them belong, just as they are.

When we honour a child’s natural way of engaging, we give them the best chance of growing into confident, connected, and resilient adults; even if they only have a few close friends, prefer reading to group play, or need time alone to recharge.

As always, it comes back to what we know best as OTs:
The goal isn’t to change the child — 

The goal is to shape the environment to support participation.

References

• Dunn, W. (1997). The impact of sensory processing abilities on the daily lives of young children and their families: A conceptual model. Infants & Young Children, 9(4), 23–35.

• Kielhofner, G. (2008). Model of Human Occupation: Theory and Application. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.

• Law, M., et al. (1996). The Person-Environment-Occupation Model: A transactive approach to occupational performance. Canadian Journal of Occupational Therapy, 63(1), 9–23.

• WHO (2001). International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health (ICF).

• Occupational Therapy Australia (2023). Scope of Practice for Occupational Therapists in Australia. www.otaus.com.au

Occupational Therapy Board of Australia (2022). Code of Conduct for Occupational Therapists.